The First Mistake

When I returned to school the Monday after I became Scott Davis’ girlfriend, the first thing I did was break up with him.

And to this day, I have absolutely no idea why. I just don’t remember.

Maybe I was scared at the idea of being someone’s girlfriend, even though I had been before. Lauren could have talked me out of it sometime over the weekend - who knows? It’s a mystery, buried in the bottom of my subconscious underneath my memories of figure skating lessons, religious education classes and frog dissection.

However, I do remember where and how it happened. The junior high school cafeteria, table closest to the lobby. He wasn’t fazed when I told him I didn’t want to be his girlfriend. Didn’t disturb him even a little. And the second he got up to walk away, I regretted every single word that had just come out of my mouth. I wanted to call after him, tell him I was just kidding, plead temporary insanity. But I didn’t. I watched him walk away, my heart sinking with every step he took.

Three weeks later Scott was dating another girl, and I was still regretting that moment in the cafeteria.

So for the next eleven months I pined after Scott Davis, watched his every move, and conceived intricate plots to get him to ask me to be his girlfriend again.

It was the longest eleven months of my life.